Monday, 27 June 2011

It's Good to Talk...

Thank you to everyone who has shown an interest in the column - and please remember that all feedback is welcome. I'd really like to hear from you. Anyway! On to this week’s letter:

Dear Kate,

I moved to Europe over a year ago as I hoped to become more aware of who I am and to accept myself. I have had issues all my life when it comes to insecurities and I am starting to think I may have made the wrong choice to come here. All I am hoping to get from you is some advice to at least be a little content with my new life here and to eventually accept my choices and to accept myself. Thank you.

The letter arrived anonymously, so I replied in my column:

Firstly thank you for your letter, it takes courage and openness to be able to acknowledge you are not as happy as you’d like to be and then to be able to ask for help. It seems from what you have written that you are a very insightful person and are beginning to become self aware and confident in who you are. That may seem like an obvious thing but knowing yourself well is something that takes time and can be hard work, asking yourself questions and giving honest and truthful answers can be a struggle at times but you seem to be doing well at understanding yourself and though you may not always like the answers your honesty puts you in a position to think about change if you choose.

So, you have been in Europe a year, I am not sure where you have come from or what caused you to leave home but no matter what the circumstances it is always hard to leave home and settle into a new way of life. I wonder why you feel you have possibly made the wrong choice? Maybe part of the journey that you hoped to take in accepting yourself and becoming more aware is about having exactly these kinds of doubts. The journey of self discovery is often not a smooth one but a rocky path and sometimes to get to that clearer place you have some dips and lows along the way, and this is where the real learning and understanding of yourself begins to take place.

I would like to know more about you and then maybe we can go into things in a little more detail, you say you have had issues all your life when it comes to insecurities, I wonder what you think these maybe. I have a sense that you are a very strong and confident person who at times has very natural doubts and concerns over their choices. I suppose one of the things to always keep at the forefront of your mind is that choices are exactly that and there are always choices available for you to make, a year ago you made the choice to come to Europe and it seems that you are now at a cross roads again, where you are making the choice to stay or not. It is completely understandable to have a natural pull to home, its what you know, its comfortable and familiar, but it will always be there for you and maybe staying in Europe for a little while longer will teach you more about yourself and how you want to spend the rest of your life then you would be able to discover at home. The end result may well be that home is where you decided to settle but giving yourself the opportunity to explore other options is not only brave but also such an amazing opportunity and one that you might want to consider taking full advantage of whilst you can.

I hope this has helped in some way and please feel free to contact me again should you feel like writing more.

Kate -

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